First Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us
all about love. But if we are being honest with ourselves and to Christ, I
think we really need to analyze what this means. First the bible says that
"Love is Patient", let’s stop right there. Patience is a virtue, of
which I don’t seem to obtain. Patience is probably the hardest thing for people
of this day and age who are all ready to go on some type of adventure and make
things happen right now. That’s probably why it’s first on the list.
When I
read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 this is what my eyes see:
“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does
not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight
in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always preservers. Love never fails.”
What my sin reads in these same verses:
“I will never be able to have patience because of everything
I have to do, I’m not very nice sometimes but it’s because people are so mean
in this world. I envy peoples relationships, jobs and success because I want to
be just like them, and I want to be like them, because I want a reason for
people to notice me. I only tease people, but I don’t actually mean to hurt
their feelings, I just do it because I don’t want to get picked on, and because
I feel insecure with myself. I get mad when people don’t seem to understand, or
maybe it’s just because they don’t give me my way, and trust me, I remember
every time someone does something to hurt me. I lie to friends and family to
cover up my mistakes, even if it’s just small white lies that don’t really
matter. I usually feel alone, because I can’t really trust anyone, and everyone
I put my hope in fails me. I think I should really just give up on life,
because everything I do results in failure.”
The above is all lies. Lies that we tell ourselves; lies
that we let Satan convince us of. That’s not even CLOSE to the truth that God
has in the first passage. No wonder we have failing relationships, failing home
lives, and failing jobs. Do we even know how to love anymore? The only time I
have ever truly felt that love described in 1 Corinthians is from Christ the
day he saved me. After that, I’ve felt it on and off, because I really truly
don’t always understand it. How could someone love me like that? Someone who
never remembers wrongs, who always has hope for me, who always waits for me to
come closer to him? That’s insane! And yet it’s so real. We are children of a
living God, a concept that most of us don’t understand. All I can do is pray
that the ending of this relationship will help show others mistakes in theirs.
Christ can take bad, and make it good; make old, new; and wandering hearts,
come home again.
Thank you Christ for the strength that you have given me to
face this hardship, I’m sorry I haven’t been listening. I pray that you can
renew my soul, and help my mind be cleared so that I can see you and your way
for me again. Please help me understand what your will is. Every day I want to
do what you want of me lord. I’m afraid and I can’t do much more other than to
give it to you. I trust you with this relationship Christ, I trust you with all
my relationships and all of my troubles. You will make your will be done in
Glory and that’s all I want. Thank you Jesus for your salvation, I love you
lord.
