After trusting in Christ, he
blessed me. How many times a day do we really get to say that? Probably not
enough, because we never trust him with everything. When my relationship was on
the line, that’s all I could really do. You realize in situations that you have
NO control over, that you really never had control to begin with. I had to
trust my God and hold fast to his promises that if you ask, it will be given to
you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For
everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks,
the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7). I
think its near to impossible to trust on words alone. That’s why I read this
scripture to remind myself, that no only is this what God said, but then he
gave up his son for me. He told his son to die, just for me. Just for you.
Crazy, I know. Its so hard to
believe in something we haven’t seen in this century. But Christ sees that, and
helps us to believe by giving us his holy spirit. That’s what told me not to
worry, as well as his word that says; “therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own
(Matthew 6:34).” Christ gave me a peace about this break up, and although it
hurt, what really could I have done to change the outcome? Become clingier, less
emotional, confessed my devoted love, or let him have space? The answer to the
above is rhetorical, because nothing I would have done could have changed the man’s
mind. Christ gives us the desires of our hearts, and he knows my heart better
than I really know myself. I’m glad when it comes to tough decisions, I don’t have
to worry about a thing, other than keeping my eyes on the Lord. It’s harder than it sounds of course, but sometimes
there is just nowhere else to turn to.
With that being said, my boyfriend
and I have decided to work on a new start. Before you think or assume anything,
let me just remind you that there was no real reason for us breaking up, other
than communication issues, which is a big issue in marriages today. I’m glad we
were able to confront this early. But with that being said, it doesn’t mean I hurt
any less, or that things are just going to be able to go back to the way they
were. We had this time to see Christ work in our lives, and it’s been
beautiful. Now we have a new season to see Christ grow us, and I’m praying for
it to be just as tremendous. There is a possibility that we may not be meant
for each other, and as much as that sucks, it’s okay too. God will always have
something better than what I think, because I don’t know nearly as much as he
does. He has had a plan for me all along, and its brought me nothing but joy so far, with some hardships, but it completely outweighs how I used to live. However, he gives me this verse from Proverbs 4:23 to remember when I go
into something new:
Above all else, guard your heart,
For everything you
do flows from it
We shouldn’t just jump into relationships as people. We
should sort through the good and bad, analyze what type of relationship this
person has with Christ, and not be so quick to lust over one another. God made
relationships for a reason, and that’s to glorify our relationship with Him. So
as much as I may be hurt or upset, this is what Christ has blessed me with, a
new season in my life. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive
others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). I
have to forgive and try to love, in Christ’s name, for my own relationship with
him, and no other reason than that. I could easily hold a grudge against him
for walking away, or against some of my friends who tried to end the
relationship, but what would that really get me? A whole lotta nothing. Even if
Andrew and I don’t work out, I know I did my best to love like Christ does, and
to forgive as he had forgiven me.
“If God only blessed us after we became believers—if he took
away all suffering, hardship, and turmoil for Christians—wouldn’t it be a way
to bribe people into the faith?” The Lord wants us to come to Him out of love
and because we know we’re needy – so needy that only he can fill those needs
for us. –Joyce Meyers
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